Have you ever left a message with a recommended product or service provider who never called you back?
I know all about ghosting. Still, I couldn’t believe how many so-called “professionals” failed to respond as I attempted to gather information for an upcoming special occasion.
For examples, I’ve shared my experiences with three of several photographers I contacted. Now, this is not to pick on photographers! In truth, I could have chosen any category of vendors to showcase a pervasive, bad-for-business attitude.
I offer my take on their mistakes along with the advice I’d give them … if I thought they would acknowledge it!
Fickle
Among several photographers on my hit list, I was eager to hear from one who had beautifully captured two separate weddings for a friend’s daughters. Along with a glowing referral, she had a lovely portfolio and offered packages that were well within our budget.
As her website requested, I submitted a form online that included how I’d found her. Given the personal connection, I anticipated a quick reply. Her stated response time was within two business days. When I hadn’t heard from her after a week, I assumed she wasn’t free on our date. Other vendors had taken forever to respond for that reason.
Nearly a month later, I saw my friend and mentioned that the photographer never replied to me. My friend then confided that she’d since learned something: the woman had been traumatized by an unwelcome sexual advance while photographing a client’s wedding. Consequently, she had shifted her focus from large functions to individual and family portraits. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about inappropriate overtures from overserved guests.
I felt terrible for the woman. At the same time, I wondered why she continued to promote weddings and similar events on her site.
Well, a couple of weeks later, the photographer emailed me. Apologizing for her delay in responding, she mentioned having a “bad experience” at a wedding. Even so, she decided that my friendship with her former client who had been wonderful was enough to make her feel comfortable about accepting my project.
I replied that I understood her predicament and appreciated hearing from her, but we had just reached an agreement with another photographer the day before. I added that we loved her work and would keep her in mind for future opportunities.
To that she said nothing.
Dear Fickle,
Given the context, I’m not here to judge you in terms of your hesitancy, but others might deem your prolonged silence unprofessional.
As you debated whether to work with me or not, rather than leave me hanging, you could have said you were currently unavailable for large events but would love to assist us if we should ever require individual or family portraits.
If you felt our project was a possibility yet needed time to think about it, you could have said, “I may have an opening and will have an answer for you by [a specific date]. In the meantime, before you book with someone else, please check in with me.”
When you learned that we had already contracted with someone else, you should have said, “I appreciate your kind words. I would love to assist you in the future.”
Signed,
Sympathetic but Frustrated
Flush
Realizing that openings for our date were filling up quickly, I was contacting multiple photographers at a time. This included another personal referral with stellar reviews and a style that we loved. Again, I named the friends who had recommended her.
To that she said nothing.
Having completed and submitted the form on her website, which she, too, promoted as the best way to reach her, I wondered if a technical glitch had occurred. Our friends said it was unlike her not to follow up. To affirm that she’d received our inquiry, they got in touch with her on our behalf.
Yes, she had gotten the message, but the date was already taken. “Oh, so sorry!”
Dear Flush,
Life if full of uncertainties. While flush with business now, you may reach a time when market conditions change. Technology, the economy, and/or competition could impact demand.
Moreover, what if the client you booked on our date had to cancel before we chose another photographer? Or what if something caused us to shift our date to one on which you would have been open?
In any case, don’t count on second chances from all the people you ghosted because you couldn’t be bothered to say, “Thank you so much for contacting me. I’m already booked on that date, but please keep me in mind for other opportunities to serve you in the future.”
Signed,
A Ghost Who Unfollowed You
Foolish
While hearing “crickets” from so many others, I was thrilled to get an immediate reply from someone referred by a photographer friend of ours who specializes in editorial work, not events. The recommendation’s portfolio was stunning, and she answered my questions quickly and thoughtfully.
Regrettably, after assessing the job’s scope, she delivered a price quote that was double what we anticipated paying. That was after she removed several line items we didn’t need.
Expressing that her work was exceptional, I was also straightforward: her fee exceeded our budget. I further thanked her for her time and said I’d happily pass along her information to anyone seeking someone of her caliber.
To that she said nothing.
Dear Foolish,
You don’t know who I know or what future project I may have with a more generous budget. For the possibility of a referral or a different job from me, you should have said, “It was my pleasure to connect with you. I hope you will keep me in mind for your contacts or another occasion.”
Also, let’s be adults here. Independent contractors bid on jobs. That’s part of doing business. Some opportunities fall through. When that happens, strive to part on a positive note.
After your minimal investment (an hour, maybe two of messaging back and forth?) didn’t result a signed contract, you went silent. Your reaction came across as a temper tantrum, which made me question your overall temperament.
How would you have handled matters on the job if everything didn’t run precisely as you had planned?
Signed,
A Short-lived Fan
A Wake-up Call
Many use technology as a shield to excuse them from following old-fashioned rules of etiquette. A clear example is their lack of urgency in responding to legitimate inquiries when they have all the business they can handle.
“It’s not personal,” they say. “If we don’t answer, it’s because we’re so busy. We don’t have time to reply to everyone.”
But here’s the reality: the “random person” who is ghosted today could become tomorrow’s dream client, desired investor, influencer who knows everyone, or simply someone who could keep the business afloat.
A true professional responds to bona fide prospects. It costs nothing and could change everything.
Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady
Thoughts or questions? Please contact Sallie Boyles, owner of Write Lady Inc., to exchange ideas about effective communications and gain from professional writing and Have you ever left a message with a recommended product or service provider who never called you back?
