When have you selected gifts for people you didn’t know?
Maybe some of the following examples apply:
- Fulfilling a holiday gift list for a child through a charity
- Helping your friend find the right gift for a future in-law
- Drawing the name of someone who is unfamiliar to you for a gift swap
- Arriving with a hostess gift when attending an event as your friend’s plus-one
Even when you haven’t met the recipient, you might work with published guidelines or use suggestions from others who know the person to assist you in choosing. If nothing else, you can always search online for ideas (why not?) and exercise your own good judgment.
Given some basic criteria like interests and clothing sizes, I recently shopped for a four-year-old girl with a fondness for baby dolls and princess-themed items. The toy purchases were easy. When it came to clothing, however, my personal taste and experience as a mom took over, sending me on a journey to find classic styles and durable fabrics.
As a rule, no matter my relationship with the recipient, I tend to agonize over options and probably take more time than the average person to pick out any gift. Thanks to a helpful mom and her young daughter, I had a consensus on a pack of frilly socks for the princess-loving four-year-old, saving me at least ten minutes in the store!
Of course, for countless reasons, some gift-giving occasions are more significant than others, justifying extra time and consideration. The nature of each relationship, too, impacts decisions.
- Knowing the person well versus not at all
- Being identified as the giver versus remaining anonymous
- Desiring something from the individual (such as a deeper relationship) versus wanting nothing in return
- Sharing a connection to the recipient versus having no meaningful ties
The costs incurred (money, involvement, etc.), benefits gained (warm-and-fuzzy feelings, brownie points, etc.), and risks (disappointment, negative reflection, etc.) also influence what we give. Likewise, our emotions—such as satisfaction, pleasure, exhaustion, and resentment—not only vary from person to person but can also fluctuate during a single situation.
The Switcheroo
What if we swapped gift for message in the prior examples? In other words, returning to the original question, let’s consider this:
When have you selected messages for people you didn’t know?
Think of when you last made a statement online, such by posting your own content or commenting on someone else’s, or when you encountered a stranger with your words or an expression. Imagine if something you conveyed was a precious gift or major hurt to that person.
Not everyone will value our words, much less what we communicate with simple looks. Thus, we might feel as though we’re giving a part of ourselves with the best intentions yet miss the mark. Naturally, we’re more open to making things right if/when feedback comes in a gracious manner. If the opposite occurs, we might need to move on with a take-it-or-leave-it mindset.
We can also live and learn. If we’ve presented what someone perceives as the worst possible gift/message, we shouldn’t give up. In fact, next time, we could end up making someone else’s day with a gift/message that’s appreciated and remembered for all the right reasons.
I do hope my message was worthwhile to you!
Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady
Thoughts or questions? Please contact Sallie Boyles, owner of Write Lady Inc., to exchange ideas about effective communications and gain from professional writing and editing services. Receive monthly tips and insights by subscribing at https://WriteLady.com.
